Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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