Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
