So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
