I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
