I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
