let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
