I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize