normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
