3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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