It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
