i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize