i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
