Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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