Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
