Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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