walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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