If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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