I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
