Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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