just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
