so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
