no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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