No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
