Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize