Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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