It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
did you just send me my own nude
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
