wat bout pragnant strippers??
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
