If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
