you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
