I'm passing your future prison.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
