Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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