better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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