I feel like I'm in dance class right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can you bring me the toilet please
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
