just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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