Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
