She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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