dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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