Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
