that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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