Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize