I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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