Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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