wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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