He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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