i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
