Say something about gay babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
