Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
