She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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