How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
