did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
