Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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(305): View more from Florida

i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

(319): View more from Iowa

Thanks bro

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(972): View more from Texas

We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".

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(916): View more from California

this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

(1-916): View more from California

People like that make this world a better place.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book

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