so that wasnt chicken after all
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
