Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
