Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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