I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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