You really coming over, don't trick.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
