i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
