ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize