I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
