remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
