She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
