she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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