Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
