whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
