Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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