Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
