Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
