Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
