Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
