Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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