If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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