I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
