i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
