He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
