NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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