This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
