I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
