im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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